Open doors for the Great Ocean Highway

I had a sweet time at the clubs the other day on my last night in Sydney. We walked through the park to Oxford street. Hyde Park is eerily empty at nighttime, all this empty space in a huge city seems a little odd.

Anyway, I´m blogging from Starbucks at the trainstation in Melbourne at the moment, it´s twelve past twelve and rainy outside. The bus ride was torture, another night of sleep depravity so now I´m literlly a walking zombie. In the plus side I have a job interview on Monday. Am so tired though.


I don´t really wanna tell you this but sometimes I think something in me is damaged beyond repair and I´m carrying this anger beacause it´s too warm inside of me.
And I would have lied to myself and ponounced the words wrong just to convince myself I wanted this. I would have stayed ut at night wondering why I felt so unsatsfied.
I´m not angry but I´m tired so I can´t explain.
I want to roadtrip the Great Ocean Highway.

I don´t want to be treated like shit in a vaccuum of words, relaxing into need.
This is not poetry. This is easy.
The other words are lying.

I remember in the winter when I used to sing "I´m not unfaithful but I´ll stray" and cry myself to sleep every night.

But I´m going east, east, east.

Hostel- Definition: common residence for the disturbed and/or mentally ill

So I got a fucking job!!! Cannot believe it.

I´m now livin´ the dream , as they say, working tuesday to friday at cool little café and lunch/breakfast restaurant in North Sydney. Was slaving in a warehouse with a (legal) job Work and Travel provided for me when the manager called and asked if I could come on thursday. So have now worked there two days. I get fourteen bucks an hour under the table, payed out in cash every wednesday according to my timesheet. Apparently it´s really common in smallish cafe´s and restaurants where they hire foreigners on a short-time basis, and it suits me fine especially because the Oz government will tax your foreign ass off if you give them the chance. Even with the tax file number they deduct 30 percent if you come from overseas and if you don´t have one, well, they´ll claim half. Feel no guilt whatsoever since I´m contributing more than my fair share to the national economy by buying shoes for work and arch supports for my poor aching feet.
Feel so much better as am actually starting to see a light in the tunnel that used to be my personal economy. ;) Will now be able to afford to go to a koala park and snuggle with cute furry creatures without having to sacrifice food for a week.

Yes, and about the title of this entry: this place is a mental home, and I am not kidding for a second. Firstly there are all these old guys here who are just generally creepy, a homeless man, a bunch of loud italians and an African dude who likes to sing choir music in a falsetto voice at any time of the day or night, has taken a "liking" to me and has been known to ask girls if he can "penetrate in between them".
In my twelve-bed dorm the craziness is limited, with only a slightly crazy-but-still-friendly korean and a few welsh girls who are generally nice but tend to get very drunk and have huge shouting matches in the room in the middle of the night or (like last night) come home with no key and bang on the door till everyone wakes up and, when the door was finally opened, scream at everyone (sleeping) inside that "you have to deal with this shit when you´re in a fucking hostel" and so on. She felt pretty bad in the morning.

So what else can I tell you? The coffee here is a little weak but still good, Gloria Jean´s is a good place to get it and very cozy with red walls and Toulouse LeTrec prints on the walls. Hyde Park is great to have a stroll through or to just lie in the grass and have a read and a sandwich. There is a fair amount of homeless people and it is sad and sometimes a bit uncomfortable, probably better than New York though.
The Ferry over to Manly is worth every cent of the seven dollars you pay for it and the beaches there are quite incredible. The water is still freezing but the weather´s turning nice and warm.
There are great shopping malls, alot of the good restaurants are in China Town and the Free Shuttle Bus rocks.

Might head over to Newtown tomorrow, you never know. Or just shop at Paddy´s Market.


"I´m sorry, I cannot understand you. You sound like Chewbacca."

Och jag snorklar i mitt trasade sällsamt sälla hjärta eller något

Så det var längesedan, och jag är ledsen för det. För min egen skull.
Jag vill att ni ska veta att jag saknar er, att jag bryr mg om er.
Jag vill att ni ska veta att jag vill äta mozzarellasallad med quinoa hemma i Sverige i en mysig soffa i ett café med bruna väggar. Men jag kommer nog inte tilbaka dit jag var förut ändå.
I Sydney nu och jag är orolig för pengar.
Ibland är jag lesen över at jag är så bitter och arg och söndertrasad inuti.
Jag undrar om jag kommer att läka för det har inte blivit varmt än, det blåser och jag har köpt en kofta. Den är svart, jag valde inte den gröna.


Kanske går till den största 3Dbiografen i världen och ser en dokumentär. Tar bussen till Newtown och går i affärer och äter indiskt.
Sedan ska jag resa och plocka frukt.

Ändå känns det som om jag läks undan för undan av att vara lite sorgsen den första veckan tillbaka här, fram tills nu har det varit mycket att göra men nu får jag bestämma själv.
Klockan är kvart över elva här nu.

Jag trodde jag skulle bli mindre fixerad av det materiella här, men istället vill jag ha:
sjalar, tights, Versace Bright Crystal, jeans, örhängen, smink, spelningar.

Jag älskar mina planer men jag hatar att vänta. Vänta är det värsta jag vet.

Åker till Manly och ligger på den fina sandstranden med ett tjockt lager solskyddfaktoroch brillor någon dag, hela dagen, badar i sol.

Sol och vatten renar väl?

Senare: Stora Bariärrevet, Uluru, bada, resa. Berg, skog och sand, kanske en stad. Kaffe.

Sushi snart igen? Älskar japansk konst.

Woolloomooloo är en stadsdel här i närheten, fina pittoreska små lägenheter och fina trädgårdar men också mycket uteliggare som har sina sovplatser i övergivna parker. Känns sogligt att gå där, måste se något annat.
Jag har bestämt mig, ska åka till Newtown och gå i affärer och på restaurang, på tisdag. Imorgon blir det RSA-(responsible serving of alcohol)kurs och samtal till restaurangen där jag sökt jobb.

Bilden är från en liten bergspromenad i Tamworth, New South Wales.